Klutz’s come in a variety of forms but they all have some common habits.
You are a Klutz if you:
- Have bruises that surprise you as much as the objects that you walk into
- Walk into objects, not limited to but including:
- Tables
- Doors
- Your bed
- Other peoples beds
- Other people
- Over time this has convinced you that you and furniture/ fittings are at war
- Knock over items
- Spill your food and or drink on yourself on a fairly regular basis (you are a wiz with a multitude of vanish items, or you reeeally need to be)
- Most of, if not all of your appliances have a scratch/dent/ chip on them
- You are well aware of the benefits of arnicare
- Your legs and arms are a rainbow of different bruises at all times
- Over time you have become more surprised when you look down at bruise free legs rather than their usual state
- Moving around in the dark must be a well thought out mission, or a leap of faith. You will fall over.
- You have move scars than all off your friends and family put together, as a result of your klutz habits developing from a young age
And remember this final piece of advice, a single bed is not your friend you will:
- Hit your head
- Fall out of it
- bruise yourself on it
- Turn over and hit yourself on the wall
Just no.
Do not fear you are not alone.
However, this condition is with you for life.
Embrace it, there is no point fighting it, it will win, just make sure you have enough plasters to get you through.
Cunningham words 