Have you ever heard it, have you ever said it more to the point.

You can’t be a feminist if…

If what? If you say so?

Millions of women and men suffer, to varying degrees, due to the societal constraints of their gender. What it is to be a man and what it is to be a woman, what it is to be ourselves to a certain extent, more often than not, we allow this to be dictated to us by other people.

As a woman I have heard the phrase ‘you can’t be a feminist if…’ thrown around with little implication and no repercussions.

If someone has the strength and confidence to stand up for what they believe in, then who are any of us to tell us that they are wrong.

The truth is, that girl dancing at the club in less clothes than she goes to bed in? She can be a feminist.

That flatmate that sleeps with whoever she pleases, for no other reason than because she wants to? She can be a feminist. Because it is her body.

That girl that needs 3 hours to get ready before she is confident enough to leave the house? She can be a feminist, because that make-up is art and those clothes are her armour.

That woman who wants to have kids and the happy husband and the the white picket fence? She can be a feminist, because if those things make her happy then why should she pretend that they don’t?

How would men feel if we told them that they couldn’t be a man if…

If they cry when they are sad. Because they get told this far to often that ‘big boys don’t cry’, well not to shock you but they do, and they should. Emotions make us human.

They need to put on a bit of muscle, ‘bulk up’. We are celebrating that women come in all shapes and sizes, but somehow forgetting that men do to.

That they can’t watch, let alone ENJOY the latest chick flick, because it’s too girly and romantic and they won’t like it? Well maybe they are the biggest Kate Hudson fan and just want to see a really good film without having to pretend that it is because their girlfriend wants to see it.

You can be a feminist… if it is on your own terms.

You can be a woman … for no other reason than because it is what you are (even if you are figuring that out)

And you can be a man… and not be ‘manly’

Feminism means equality and equal rights. Rights that are human. Not a change in discrimination, because we are all discriminated against for one reason or another. If a man or a woman says that they are a feminist, then just think to yourself.

Good on them.

What am I?

I wonder.